I leave for LA today to attend Kayla Itsines’ Sweat Tour boot camp, being held on Sunday in the Rose Bowl.

The whole trip in itself is just mind-boggling – I can’t believe I was even able to get a ticket to the boot camp, let alone the fact I am actually going. It was a bit of a whirlwind – I got my boot camp ticket, excitedly told all my friends and told them to get tickets now and decide later, which they did. I excitedly booked an AirBnB in Pasadena for 6 people since it sounded like six would be coming, and booked my flights through air miles, making this trip affordable.

Since then, 2 of my Calgary friends have booked their flights and are coming, and I am so excited to share this experience with them! 2 friends were unable to make it work, one person we hadn’t met, but had committed to coming, backed out last minute, and a bit of a scramble ensued. I had a friend who I made through Instagram and asked if she would be interested in coming, the stars aligned and I am SO happy to say I get to meet her for the first time in real life tonight! Her cousin and a friend are also coming, so we have a full house and a weekend of adventures to begin!

People think I’m crazy when I tell them I am going to LA for a fitness event, and even more crazy when I tell them I’m both spending the weekend and being picked up at LAX by someone I’ve never even met. There’s something different about the BBG community though – a special bond exists and these girls will have your back no matter what happens. Online bully? They’ll deal with him/her. Feeling down? They’ll cheer you up. Never met in real life? Doesn’t matter, they’re a best friend for life. These girls don’t judge, they’re positive, they will build you up, support and encourage you, ALWAYS.

Yet, while I know this, I began to get overly nervous and overwhelmed last week. Even though I have been following BBG and a new healthy lifestyle for 10 months, I don’t look the way I want to. Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I see the problem areas, the fat, the stretch marks, the cellulite, the lack of definition and tone. I don’t see all the hard work that I have already put in, and the results that have come with it. Going on this trip made me realize that I am the biggest girl in this group of six, and in my breakdown of reality, I started to obsess about the fact that I would be the ‘fat friend’ and would want to avoid all and any group pictures so it wasn’t blatantly obvious.

While I may come across super confident on my instagram and social media, which frankly, is my intent. People don’t often willingly talk about the things that scare them, and it’s important to remember that even the most seemingly secure people feel vulnerable too. It’s a hard thing to face your fears and meet new people when you’re (still) unhappy with your body. While I’ve since realized I am being silly, these girls will be welcoming with open arms and I have nothing to worry about, it’s still hard.

I won’t let this stop me, and  I will shake off all my fears the instant I get on the plane since the jitters will be replaced with excitement, and the weekend will be full of activity and life-long friends will inevitably be made. I am SO excited to finally meet the infamous Kayla too, since it’s her program that has changed my life in so many ways!